Falcon
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Post by Falcon on Apr 9, 2010 16:58:25 GMT -8
Even though the Chuck Jokes have their own website, you can post your jokes about the Chuck like...
"Chuck is so tough, when he does push-ups, he doesn't push himself...he pushes the world" (example).
So if anyone has any jokes, go ahead post.
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Timmeh
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Post by Timmeh on Apr 9, 2010 17:05:02 GMT -8
Children urinate their name in snow, but Chuck Norris urinates his name in concrete.
Chuck Norris had been bitten by a snake. After hours of suffering and pain... the snake died.
Jesus walks on water, but Chuck Norris swims on land.
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Warrior
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Post by Warrior on Apr 9, 2010 20:15:29 GMT -8
Gosh there alot of chuck norris jokes lol..
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Timmeh
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Post by Timmeh on Apr 9, 2010 20:49:08 GMT -8
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. ;D
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
I'd post more, but Chuck Norris will soon roundhouse kick me in the fac-. ;D
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Falcon
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Post by Falcon on Apr 10, 2010 8:24:19 GMT -8
I might as well edit this...becuase i know more about Chuck Norris facts than everyone else here....i will say more in this thread...
Chuck Norris is so tough, there is no chin under his beard...there is only another fist!
Chuck is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
There is no theory of evolution...just a list of beings that Chuck allowed to live.
Aliens do exist...they just know better not to visit a planet with Chuck living on it.
Chuck Norris doesn't and will never wear a condom, why? Because there is no protection from Chuck!
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer; too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him.
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. (Napalm is a lava-lish liquid from a volcano)
After taking a steroids test, doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
The original name of the movie was Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris, but the producers realized that nobody would ever watch a movie that only lasted fourteen seconds.
Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
The titanic didn't sink because of an iceberg, Chuck Norris was just out for a swim.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walk.
Chuck norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice.
They say tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
When Chuck Norris urinate, he clogs the toilet.
Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck doesn't sleep in his entire life. Never. In fact,he eat a bottle of sleeping pills, and only made him blink.
Chuck 'can' believe it's butter.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
> (I have a shirt that says 'Rock...Paper...Chuck Norris, I win.' ) (*for real*)
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris only Sky Dive once because the World only needed one Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris did a corkscrew into the Gulf of Mexico and Created Hurricane Katrina.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, thats how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
M.C. Hammer found out the hard way the Chuck Norris can touch this.
Chuck Norris once play the game Russian Roulette with a fully load gun and won.
(Russian roulette is a game with a gun to death,two ppl with guns, loaded in different rounds, the only way the game ends by calling yourself a coward, other person suicide, or you killed yourself first, I say NEVER play that game at ALL!)
Best One on the house...
Chuck Norris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary...with a guitar hero controller!
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ianis
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Post by ianis on May 13, 2010 15:08:29 GMT -8
hahaha, that last one is hilarious.
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§§}Lemon
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Post by §§}Lemon on May 13, 2010 23:15:21 GMT -8
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
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Timmeh
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Post by Timmeh on May 13, 2010 23:43:54 GMT -8
Ianis, please DO NOT bring up old threads.
PS: LOL, Lemon.
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§§}Lemon
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Post by §§}Lemon on May 14, 2010 0:09:47 GMT -8
gotta love those math jokes, lol
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), my username is spl99 (i think)
Jul 1, 2017 10:27:26 GMT -8
